Don’t you ever get the feeling that you need to throw ice-cubes at angry people, just to make them chill out for a bit? No? Just me? Ok then…

“We won’t support the continuation of a regime that oppresses its own people” – Recep Tayyip Erdoğan about the civil war in Syria.

Oh, is that why you’re doing exactly the same thing? Turkey likes to think of itself as a democratic and liberal country in the Middle East. But facts show us otherwise. “It doesn’t matter what you have to say. I will go through with My plans anyways. And if you stand in My way, I will activate My forces” - Recep Tayyip Erdoğan about the manifestation in Istanbul.

Oppressing the people. Tear gassing the shit out of them. Running them over with armoured tanks… You’ve got to love democracy, ey? Talking is easy. Claiming that you’re a democracy doesn’t mean anything when the country repeatedly tries to wash away the peoples’ opinions with water canons. Something really smells fishy about that. I can feel the smell of a dictatorship all the way up to Sweden!

The situation in Turkey reminds me of the beginning of all the other revolutions in the Middle East. To me it looks like a country that has totally lost control over the situation (much like the beginning of the conflicts in Syria & co), which only keeps on fighting the people because it’s too damn proud to admit their mistakes.

I get the pride feeling. I derive from the Middle East (inter alia). I understand their mentality. But there comes a time when one has to swallow its pride and admit one’s mistakes. Either you admit you’re wrong, Erdoğan, and take responsibility for your actions – or you may count on that your country’s going to be exposed for an intervention. Perhaps the intervention will be led by your ever so good friends from the West? The time’s ticking and the countdown has already begun.

Turkey is boiling of rage along with all of the other Middle Eastern countries. A new world order is trying to lure its way into the Middle East. But what makes us think that that is even possible? What makes us think that anyone can influence this region? This tactic is outplayed. It’s old and it’s lame! Alexander the Great tried, the Roman Empire tried, the Mongols tried, the Persians tried, the British Empire tried, Soviet tried, the United States of America tried… Do you know what the one thing they all had in common was? They all fled. No one has ever been able to control this pot of boiling soup. There’s a greater chance that hell freezes over than anyone managing to gain influence in that region. Do people simply believe they can just come into a country and stir the wasp nest? And then expect no reaction? All actions have consequences. It’s that simple! Do you know what happens when you piss off a wasp nest? The whole band of brothers goes all kamikaze on you. They fight until the very end. They rather die then let you bully them.  

The whole “New world order” thing is project that will never see the daylight. And the whole dictator game that leaders of the Middle East are playing will never pay off in the long run. You may fight the people. You may harm the people. You may shoot at the people. Hell, you may even kill the people. But you will never, EVER, be able to eliminate or kill their ideas. That’s the beautiful thing about ideas: They are bulletproof. They’ll live on and grow stronger for every generation. And in the end, the oppression will backfire and people will rise up and fight back.

What the Turkish government is doing to their people is only fuelling their will and giving them more reasons to fight back. Tic Toc, Erdoğan – soon it’ll be too late.

I was out, studying in my backyard, enjoying the sun, just minding my own business, when suddenly a wasp came out from nowhere and went all kamikaze on me. It dived straight into my loose tank top! Everything happened so quickly. The wasp was flying around in there, trying to settle down in my cleavage. I panicked! All of sudden I was wearing nothing. There I stood, in pure daylight, in my backyard, holding my tank top in my right hand while screaming “I’M GONNA DIE!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!” If my little striptease hadn’t caught any of my neighbours’ attention already, the “American Psycho” screaming certainly did it for me.

Anyway… who cares? My neighbours are so old they probably won’t remember a thing tomorrow anyways. And if they do remember, it’ll probably be worth it (for them). I mean, when was the last time they got any action? And yes, I just realized what that sounded like. What I meant was that all they do everyday is to fix their gardens; water the flowers, cut the grass and other irrelevant old people stuff, hahaha! This afternoon must have spiced up their life a bit! 

What fascinates me though, is how fast I undressed. I must have been faster than Clark Kent. Shit, now you know my kryptonite… Waspzzzz! 

”Gary Oldman and Marion Cotillard in the latest Bowie video! And it even got censored by Youtube - what else could we ask for?” – Julie

Well, she’s speaking the truth. And what did we expect (Scheppes, he…he)? Of course it was going to get banned!

Speaking of something totally different (almost anyways). I don’t mean to sound like a reversed pedophile, but… Gary Oldman… I know! He’s probably the same age as my dad (and no, I don’t have daddy issues – we’ve talked about this, people!). I don’t know, maybe it’s the bad ass priest thing he’s got going on in this music video? Hahaha, okay if my dad reads this, it’s going to be real awkward. I mean, last time Akasya and I were watching a Johnny Depp movie we were like “Daaaaymn Johnny!” However I could see how painful it was for my dad to sit there and listen to us. He was as bothered as a dad could be. And when he couldn’t take it no more he said “I’m sitting right here! Please! Girls… HE’S MY AGE! It’s creeping me out!”

But dad, you don’t understand. You see, men are like wine – they just keep getting better with age. Women on the other hand… They’re like milk. It’s good at first, but as time goes it tend to get sour and smelly. And if somebody dares to even taste it that person will regret it. Food poisoning is not anything to play with. In the end, the milk will be tossed in the trash.

Why can’t we be the same? Life’s so unfair! Women already have a history filled with unfairness and we’re already cursed to have one crucial week every month(that’s like 15 years of your life spent on bitching and eating loads of chocolate just to numb the pain). As if that’s not enough? We have to walk around with a growing living creature inside of us for 9 whole months (the number of months is relative, depending on how many kids you want. Just calculate 9 x the amount of kids you’d like), then push out that little sucker and THEN guard it with our lives. No way, José! That ain’t right! 

I was using my mother’s laptop the other day… Big mistake! I was waiting for a page to load, but it was SO slow. Eventually I got fed up and closed it. But in the split second that I closed it I saw that the page had finally loaded and that there was no return. I felt like I was going to explode. 

If I ever had any respect for Drake, it’s now officially gone… like long gone… Unless “Started from the bottom” is a joke of course. First of all, say what?

Second of all, the lyrics literally just goes like “Started from the bottom, now we’re here. Started from the bottom now the whole team’s fucking here” x100. What happened? Did somebody scratch the CD? No? Then why the hell is it on repeat? Like, we get it! You’re here now. You started from rock bottom hell and now you’re chilling with Jesus! Good for you. But it’s still no excuse from making a 5 minute song that says “started from the bottom” over and over again. This ain’t Guantanamo! You can’t put that kind of stuff on the radio. And then people ask why there are so many car accidents. It’s obviously because they put Drake’s song on and people started to get mental melt downs and hallucinate shit in the middle of the road.  

Third of all, who are you trying to fool Drake? You didn’t start from the bottom? You started on Canadian TV at Degrassi community school. We all saw you, Jimmy!

But hey, what do I know? Coming from an upper class part of Toronto can be very hard.

Do you know who really started from the bottom? That Chinese newborn baby that was flushed down the toilet the other day and SURVIVED! That kid must be the chosen one or something. I’m ready to bet that that kid is going to be something great! Then we can talk about starting from the bottom, DRAKE!