Movie fail

So I watched “Blue lagoon: the awakening” and compared it to “The blue lagoon” from 1980 starring Brook Shields and that other dude. In the modern re-make they’re at an island for months, yet the girl’s got smooth legs and armpits at all times. How is that even possible? Even if she’d waxed right before they got there, that hair would have grown out in less than a month. But no, she was hairless like a baby’s butt! Then I thought: “Perhaps she had done some IPL”. However her hair is far too fair and light for that stuff to even have an effect on her so… No!

 

And what was the deal with the makeup? As IF one would wear makeup while stuck on a deserted island. Yes, maybe she brought her mascara to the island but c’mon… I hate when they do this in movies. Please, just make it realistic for once! But then again, this was a stereotypical high school flick so what did I expect? It’s not like Brook Shields’ character was better? She didn’t have a single hair below the neck.

 

If anyone would ever ask me to do that same role; I’d go all Selma Hayek on them and make sure no body touched my legs, bikini or armpits for months. I’d let that hair grow until I’d looked like a little cave woman. 

 

Just look at this picture! You can spot his hair MILES away... Am I the only one who've thought about this?
 

When UFC and Sparta becomes one

My first reaction when I saw this picture was “THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAA!!!”

 

That moment when you say “Excuse you, you’re in my way” and the girl won’t move and you almost kick her head off her neck…

FYI, this was at a body combat class (and those involves a lot of punching and kicking).I’m not some kind of lunatic who thinks I own the street, screaming “MOVE BITCH! GET OUT THE WAY!” and kicking people in my way in the face. I mean, do I look like Elizabeth Lambert to you? Haha! 

 

This girl I’m referring to was standing right next to me and I politely asked her to take a few steps away from me so I wouldn’t hurt her when doing an air kick. Naïve as I was, I thought she had moved out of my way. But when it was time for my back kick I was probably an inch from her face. You know, as you kick backwards you look at your target. On one hand, that could have gone really bad. But on the other hand… that back kick tho! Haha!

 

 

Published

I just got back from my worst workout ever! I think it was a combination of the class before mine taking all the air, leaving us with their stuffy leftover breaths, and us being a large ass class. At one point I thought I’d pass out, but I kept on fighting.

 

Anyway, yesterday one of my articles were featured here. I literally just translated my blog post about anti rape lingerie into Swedish and got published, haha!

 

Saturday UFC

The other day Maja came over to see my “new” place. (She hadn’t been here before) We had some pecan pie - m-m-mmm I would love me some pie right now (and please read that with a southern accent) – and today I’m working off the calories by watching some UFC, haha! 

PPP (Poor people problems)

One of my biggest fears as a student is my credit card getting declined when I’m out (grocery)shopping. Especially when there’s people standing in the line behind me. I don’t like the way they have to announce it. Like, tell me if you go ahead and decline my card – don’t put on a freakin’ show! And the cashier always has to go “Uh-uh! I’ve tried it three times already”. Not everybody has to know that damn it?!

 

But you know what? Ever since I was a little kid we’ve called this “the patience work out” in my family. You know when you’re getting closer to the cashier and you don’t really know if you’ve got enough money to buy all of that stuff you've got in you're trolly, and you start sweating as your shaking hands tries to make it to the credit card terminal? Wow, that moment when the machine says “successfully processed”, it’s like your entire life problems just lifts from your shoulders. You suddenly feel alive! Ready to face anything! You're freaking invincable! Because, your card just got accepted and there ain’t nothing that can stop you anymore! Until you realize you have to go grocery shopping again next month…

 

This is probably how I'll look while reading these posts in the future when I'm rich and famous, haha! I'll be like "Oh, honey! You made it now - and now you can make a difference". Or will I say "Oh, honey! Nothing's changed"?

If you've got an ass like the North Star, wise men are gonna want to follow it - Ron Burgundy

What an asshole, haha! That quote hasn't even got a thing to do with my post...

 

You know when I think of it, I kind of look like these three gangstafied wise men today! I've got my tracksuit, trainers and gold chain on, looking like the Don of Brooklyn. The only thing missing is my camel and a turban. 

 

 

International Women’s Day

To my mother, my big sister and all of my sisters all over the world: my thoughts are with you and I’m doing everything in my power to fight for your rights, for our rights – equality for all!

 

Looking back we realize how far we’ve come, but we still have A LOT more work to do. Remember: nothing is impossible, as long as we stick together and keep on fighting! Don’t settle for less than you believe you’re worth. And please women, love, support and cherish each other – because in this man’s world we don’t have the time or the strength to fight each other.

 

Below are some pictures from today: the gal’s hang out and the manifestation against rape. 

 

Anti rape lingerie

I don’t know if you’ve seen the promotion for this new lingerie for women, which are supposed to make it impossible for someone to sexually assault you. A company has designed shorts for women that are intended to prevent rape via a series of locks and special materials.

 

I get the idea and everything... But what the fuck! When did we take the time machine back to the middle ages? Or did we ever leave that era? Do us women really have to put a lock to our genitals to prevent rapists from attacking us? Isn’t it better to attack the actual problem instead of caging our vaginas as if they were some kind of beasts? I think this world needs to sit down and take a moment to reflect over where we’re heading. Where on earth is the gender equality when women all over the world are presented this invention as a solution? How come women always have to take the hit for the things we don’t have any control of? It’s not like we walk around with signs that says “rape, please!”?

 

Perhaps we should lock all the mens’ dicks away in a box/safe that only their mothers’ know the combination to? How’s that for a solution? Then men can go and beg their mommies to type in the code whenever they need to take a leak. Perhaps then men will get a wider perspective of how it feels for a woman to unlock her panties just so she can use the restroom at her school, work, restaurant or where ever the hell she is. Because rape happens everywhere. And these types of inventions makes it pretty clear that women are never really safe. Do people really expect women to feel safer by walking around with an armed vagina 24/7? What if a woman chooses not to use them for one day? What if she gets raped that particular day? Is she then to be responsible for the rape? Would she have been accused of for begging for some stranger to rape her? I’m sure that thought has never occurred to you… Because this is such an ingenious invention that will erase all the problems in the world. Nobody seems to think what kind of signals it gives us women. That we’re inferiors. That there is no way the judiciary can protect us. That there is no justice what so ever to be served.

 

Women all over the world have already covered up. They’re hiding themselves under veils – yet men look! Yet men can’t see past the end of their own dicks! And you expect women to do this to themselves as well? In an ideal world women should be able to walk around naked without getting sexually assaulted. But this isn’t an ideal world, is it?

 

It’s not our lower abdomen you should lock up – it’s the sick bastards who use their manhood to violate women and use their dominance to treat us as inferiors. Those are the real beasts! 

 

Meeting my kid!

Last night I went to the second lecture of the Red Cross three-step programme to become the most awesome “sponsor” for unaccompanied refugee minors. And today I’m finally meeting my kid! I can’t tell you how big of a deal this is for me.

 

Imagine having to escape your country because of an ongoing conflict that threatens your existence. Imagine having to leave your home, your family, your friends, your entire life. Imagine having to come to a brand new society in an unfamiliar country where you know absolutely no one. Imagine being all alone. No one to talk to. No one who can listen. Voiceless. Deaf. Imagine suddenly realizing what’s happened. Where you’ve landed. What you’ve left behind. Who you've left behind.

 

I wish this would have existed a long time ago. I wish it didn’t have to take until 2014 for people to understand the necessity of people who helps these kids settle down and help them rebuild their lives. Integrate them into our society. Make them feel welcome. Introduce them to their new home along with all the possibilities that comes with it.

 

Help a friend, change a life – may love and happiness follow you wherever you go. 

 

Wake up!

Rise and shine. It’s 6 am and my hand can’t make it to the alarm clock before the voices in my head start telling me that it’s too early, too dark and too cold to get out of bed. Aching muscles lie still in rebellion, pretending not to hear my brain commanding them to move. Allegiance voices are shouting their unanimous permission for me to hit the snooze button and go back to dreamland. But I haven’t asked for their opinion. The voice I’ve chosen to listen to is the one that says there was a reason I settled the alarm in the first place. So I sit up, put my feet on the floor and don’t look back, because I’ve got work to do.

 

There are two ways in life; the right way and the easy way. And everyday is a conflict about which one to choose. By taking a stand and seizing the control of myself, I’m heading upstreams. I make that choice and I decide to turn my back at what’s comfortable and safe. And from there on then it only gets tougher. I have to be ready and sure that this is something I want. Because the easy way out will always be there, ready to wash my life away.

 

With each step comes the decision to take another. I’m on my way. But this is no time to dwell on how far I’ve come. I’m in a fight against an opponent I can’t see, but who I can feel breathing down my neck. My fear, doubts and insecurities all end up like a firing squad, ready to shoot me out of the sky. The devil on my shoulder tries to convince me to not waste my time, that my opponent are stronger than me. So I dry out the voice of uncertainty with every sound of my heartbeat. And I remember what I’m fighting for. 

 

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