Narrator

I look myself in the mirror and think ”I’m 19 and I have so many stories to tell”. All of them may not be mine to tell, but someone has to be the narrator. I could be that narrator. Sometimes I believe that is my purpose in life. To tell the stories no one could tell. To serve justice. To tell the truth. To be the voice of the people.

 

I’m 19 and I have so many stories to tell. But I can’t. Not here. The time will come and you’ll hear every single word of mine. And you’ll feel. Something.  

Study, study, study

It’s so funny, in a student’s world. Aaaaah-ah-ah-aaaah! All the things that you do, if I didn’t have to study, I would party hard!

 

It’s my cover of Abba’s song Money!

"The possessed girl under my bed"

Coming into my room today felt like heaven (or should I say hell? Heaven seems cold as hell, but hell sound so warm and cosy during these harsh winter days. It’s almost like I can’t wait to sin so I can go to hell and warm my cold hands, flip some burgers, grill marshmellows… perhaps get a little suntan while I’m at it, you know?)

 

Usually my room’s ice-cold whenever I come back home. It’s like I’m living with a possessed chick who’s in serious need of an exorcism. Some times I even search the room just to be sure she’s not hiding behind any of my furniture, twisting her head 360 degrees. I swear to god, if I find you I’mma woop your ass with some hard core exorcism, and lord knows I will have no mercy. “This is my corner!” (– get rich or die trying) 

Drama hand

I finished my exam hours ago and yet I feel like Bruno Mars – like I catched a grenade in my right hand and it blew up. Seriously, my hand is hurting so bad. You don’t want to know. As always I had to take a million breaks and massage my hand to be able to move on and finish my writing.

 

Anyway, I’m glad it’s over. I’m never moving this hand again… EVER!

 

Okay, so I’m moving it as I’m writing. But as soon as my done with writing this post, I’LL NEVER MOVE MY HAND AGAIN! (I hope pressed play when reading that last part, because it was meant to sound dramatic). 

 

Skypin'n'hypin'

What's up? No mucho, just skyping and studying with Ella. 

Big brother's watching me

... study!
 
My big brother's home over the weekend. It's too bad I can't hang out with him too much since I'm preparing for a huge exam... But you know me, I'll do it all even though it's not possible, haha!

Harlem shaking before it was cool

- the hipster
 

What if I told you

Guess what! I can talk about going to the gym how much I want, because this isn’t Facebook. This is my blog, which basically is my diary for everyone to read. And since you’re all reading it, it’s okay for me to share this vital information with you. No? 

 

Okay, so maybe my blog is connected to Facebook in some ways... So people on Facebook will eventuallt see this and think "Okay, let me go get a pen and paper and write that down in my 'I don't give a F-list'" Haha, tough!

When you spot something which's on sale that you wanted forever

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"Could it be true?"
 
 
 

Weird scenarios - no offense, but you look like Adriana Lima

Oh, no you didn't!

 

Some people get offended no matter who you tell them they look like. I saw this guy tell a girl that she looked like Adriana Lima and the girl got all angry. First I thought it was for “strong independent lady” reasons and that she didn’t want to be compared to an underwear supermodel who happens to be known for her flawless body, and that she doesn’t want anything to do with what media does to insecure girls. And I thought “Hm, okay you go girl”. But then she says “Really? Oh god, her lips, ew, no!”. I turned my head away and tried my very hardest to not scream out “OMG”. I was too chocked to handle her response. So… Adriana Lima isn’t good enough for you? Really? Her lips are too big? The guy tries to save the whole situation and says “No, I meant you look like Mila Kunis!” The girl frowns and says “No, I don’t… Her eyes are like way too big!”

 

I felt so sorry for this guy. He was trying his very best to say that he thought she looked beautiful (in his own little weird way), but she got offended no matter what. To be honest, she didn’t look like these fine ladies at all. She was cute, dot. Perhaps she was confident that she was much more beautiful than them? I don’t really know and I don’t really care either.

 

But as this awkward conversation was taking place right next to me, I couldn’t stop thinking of what would have happened if this guy just gave up and said “Okay, you know what? Honestly, you look like my neighbours dog”. The scenario took a whole different direction and the girl suddenly perked up and said “Oh really? Is he a German Shepperd?” I had to leave, because I was laughing my pants off. 

 

Game on Wildcats - you lookin' Fierce!

I got myself three pair of new panties today, wohow!

 

Drop the beat - Hillbilly style!

I think we’re all hooked on Mercy by Kanye West & co. But have you paid any attention to the last guy rapping? Because I know you’ve all been trying to understand whatever’s going on in the beginning of the song. I can’t figure out whether he’s got a hard accent or if he’s speaking in tongues. Either way, the sound’s cool.

 

But let’s talk about the last guy rapping in the song. I don’t know what his name is, but I couldn’t stop laughing when he began rapping. I couldn’t figure out if he was for real or if I had accidentally switched on a song buy the Lonely island called “This is how hillbilly’s rap”. (No, there’s not actually a song called that).

 

It’s like he’s trying to sound all OG when he says ”I'm drunk and high at the same time, drinkin' champagne on the airplane” but his hillbilly accent makes him sound ridiculous, haha!   

 

Fast forward to 4:07 and you'll understand what I'm talking about. And the way he says mayonnaise, haha! I wish I was friends with this guy. He would never stop making me laugh and I would probably live for an eternity. 

Give me some motivation

I know I’m just being lazy right now. That’s why I’m not studying. Well, I’m going to stop being lazy, stop watching silly movies, lift my lazy booty from my bed, strip to my underwear, put my trainers on, turn on the Black Keys and start working out – sweat off all my laziness. Then, I’m heading to the shower and then I’m getting my sh*t together and start working the brain my mama gave me.

 

I mean, look at me! I'm wearing a hat that says "Athlete" and I'm not even near being athletic right now. I don't deserve to walk around wearing the A's. Who am I trying to fool here? Nobody's bying it, haha!

 

 

Poor Knights

One thing that makes us whose first language isn’t English so funny, is that we become so imaginative (almost like children) when we don’t know a word we’re looking for in English. We just translate it directly from our own language and expect the people we’re speaking with to get it. And the words we come up with are so highlarious to say the least.

 

I don’t know if it’s a typical Swedish thing, but I see a lot of my friends do it without even knowing that they in fact are doing it, haha!

 

Like now for example, I wanted to make French toasts, but I couldn’t come up with the word for it… so I translated it directly from Swedish (Fattiga riddare) and came up with “Poor knights”, haha! I mean, if I would have said that at a café in say New York they would have laughed at me or thought I was crazy. “Yes, mam! I would like some Poor Knights, thank you.” “Oh, would you like a rich glass of milk or is it okay if I bring you an ordinary low fat milk?”

 

With that said, I'm going to make myself some French toasts aka Poor Knights.

LORE

Last night I saw Lore with my parents. It wasn’t what I’d expected, but it was truly a great film. I love the fact that it was in German. It really gave the story a sense of originality. The actors were phenomenal as well. But the music… I fell in love with it! Max Richter is with all honesty a genius. "On the Nature of Daylight" used to be my favourite with him, but Lore's theme song became my new favorite (which I can't find anywhere - so if you find it, please leave a comment below).

 

Principles of Microeconomics

Dear Math,

 

I don’t want to solve your problem. I have problems of my own to solve.

 

Sincerely

Me

 

The Day

I woke up in an ice-cold room this morning, 4.03 am to be exact. And I immediately realized that this day was going to be a struggle.   

Two movies I can't wait to see

There are a few movies I can’t wait to see this year. Two of them are Lore and War Witch. These trailers… I’m shivering just thinking about them. I’m afraid I can’t explain why I’m looking forward to see these so much and why I have such deep feelings for them. I guess you’ll see in time.  

 

 

Ideologies today - do we have any?

People are so afraid of committing to any ideologies today, especially here in the West (or should I say Sweden). It’s almost like a big taboo to even mention an ideology in politics today. No one wants to be linked with extremism now, do they?

 

As time goes by, we’ve come to realize that our political parties are nothing but intertwined thoughts and ideas with different names. “Same shit, different names” some say. I believe that we’ve entered a political depression where we’re just walking around in circles waiting for something to actually happen, change. As vampires do anything to stay away from the sun, we are doing anything in our power to stay as far away as possible from ideologies, our sun. We are practically hiding from the fact that politics has become dull and literally turned into different shades of grey – again, different shades of the same thing.

 

Perhaps we don’t need to refer to our ideologies in politics today? Maybe we all do have the same goal; democracy and world peace? It’s basically common sense, right? But how are we supposed to reach that goal when we don’t have an ideology or theory that leads us? Theories are like road maps, which lights up the way and helps us find the way in an unknown terrain. Without it we would get lost.

 

What I’m trying to say is that even when we believe that we’re using common sense there’s always an implicit theory, which leads our actions. We just don’t know it or perhaps we’ve forgotten what that theory is all about. But it’s still there, deep down in our unconsciousness.

 

People who find themselves standing above theories are often listening to a dead voice from the past whose name since long has been forgotten. 

 

The world is stuck in a hula hoop, the same thing happening over and over until it becomes a familiar pattern which nobody bothers caring about anymore. Because the same thing doesn’t make a difference. It only makes an overproduction of an idea that we’re not in need of. Words which haven’t got any depth or meaning are truly dead and are better off rotting somewhere else than right under our nose. Like Israel awaits Messiah to return, the rest of the world awaits the next big thing to come – I believe we’re in fact longing for the return of the ideologies. I think we’re looking for a sense of belonging. An idea. A thought – something to share and fight for. With someone. Together. Not being alone. 

 

Let the sun shine and light up the sky. Let us embrace the theories once again. Let them inspire and illuminate us, and lead us in our darkest times. Let them back in. Don’t be afraid.  

 

Ew

That awkward moment when you’re looking for what ever is stinking like a sour pack of milk and realize it’s your own feet… “Uhm zat was hawkward…”

 
First I'm like:
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And then when traced the smell:
 
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L-l-l-l-love is in the air

I love making people around me happy, especially my family and friends. Getting their responds from all over the world of how happy they got when receiving my Valentine’s Day gifts made me oh so happy, haha!

 

Puss puss my lovelies!  

 

La-la-la-laaaw

I'm preparing for tomorrow's seminar, mambo number 5 (read seminar number 5) 
 
 

Happy Valentine's Day

dgahjJ

Feeling like a baller

I got myself this killer jersey yesterday! I love it!

 

 

Talking about school at parties

The last thing anyone wants to talk about at a party is school. That’s why most students drink! They are celebrating that they are not in class at that particular moment. Some drink because it just makes the situation better… you know, to escape the reality. “Well, I think I’ve covered all the social aspects. Now, let’s talk about school, grades, studying and going to class”. I swear to you, but that sentence will be your last for life, because you will probably not be standing after that. You’ll probably be shot between your eyes for even mentioning school at a party. So… It was nice knowing you and all, but now that you mentioned school at this party, somebody is going to put you in a tiny box, six feet under.

 

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When somebody first mentions the s-word at a party, one will look like this.

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Another will realize that thing's are about to go down.

 

imageimage

A third will be realizing that somebody (by using the s-word) just has ruined the whole party, like "thanks a lot!"

 

A fourth person WILL make sure that things get ugly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's such a cute top - can you get it off for me?

This Wednesday has been so awkward. First, I almost dropped all of my books and notes during the seminar, as I had to stand up and present an assignment by the white board. Then… I don’t even want to write it… But I will. I went to the mall to buy a top, a fancy one. I had no problems getting it on what so ever, but as I had to take it off it kind of got stuck… below my breasts… I took a deep breath and thought “No problem, I’ve gotten out of situations similar to this several times before, calm down Begonia”. But when I realized that the top wasn’t coming off I started to panic. Clearly this was a two-man job. But I wasn’t with a friend… so I had one of the saleswomen help me. There I stood, half naked in the dressing room, with a saleswoman, fighting for our lives to avoid a “nipslip” and the top to not rip in two.

 

Now, I know that it wasn’t my boobs fault. That was all on the top and the designers! What were they thinking not leaving a little extra space for the breasts?

 

I guess I don’t have to tell you that I didn’t buy that top.  

 

Update status

You click update status and it say’s “what’s on your mind/How’s it going?” Some people take that way too literally and write things like “Sometimes life throws you curve balls, but you’ve got to just keep your head up, keep doing your thing #YOLO”. What was that all about? Never mind, I don’t want to get sucked into that super massive black hole of complains.

 

I don’t even know what’s worse: the status or the people leaving their comments on that status? “Keep your head up bro” and “These bitches can’t touch you man” or “I feel you boy!” And of course there’s this one guy, who gives the inspirational song lyrics… What’s his deal? Does he go through his entire Itunes music library just to find a quote that’s suitable for this person’s situation? “Blablabla this is some deep shit right there, blabla… it’s hard to carry on when no one loves you – Tupac Shakur”, and gets 32 likes on the first ten minutes, BAM!

 

I'm just like "... wtf..?" while reading the status.

 

Wondering if this is for real or not

 

After calming down I just look away from the computer thinkin "WWWW - What's wrong with the wordl?"

xoxo Patty McFatty

You’ve got no idea what I went through to get me a piece of semla. I went to a supermarket nearby to buy a pack of “semlor” for my family. But as I got closer to the desk I noticed that they were all gone. Apparently my mate Meg was the one who bought the last pack of semlor. Can you believe this?

 

So I said “F this place, I’m going to the other supermarket”. And I did. And do you know what? They had semlor stacked up all over the place. Or… not really, but comparing to the other supermarket it sure felt like it. I guess I just wanted to sign in to say that things always work out, one way or another. #PattyMcFattywisdom

 

Is that your grandma's coat? Well, as a matter of fact it's YOUR grandma's coat

Whenever I listen to Thrift shop by Macklemore I feel like blowing sh*t up and just walk away in slow motion as if I’m not even bothered by something actually blowing up behind me. That’s how cool I feel whenever that song’s on. I just want to put on my grandad’s clothes and look incredible… Oh wait, I’m already in my grandad’s clothes and… I kind of look INCREDIBLE! 

 

Hahaha, I absolutely love the video!

Mad cow

Song of the day: Airplanes - Local Natives

 

No, they do not have the mad cow disease. Don’t pay too much attention to the beginning of the song. I don’t know what they’re mooing about, but it kind of reminds me of that sing-a-long I went to with Louise in London last year, haha!

 

 

Imma hit you from the back and make you holler till you pass out

With that said, I've finished my workout.
 
Up next: I'm having lunch with Don (aka my dad, haha) and then I'm off on a massion - Operation Valentine's Day!
 
 

Good morning

My hair has grown long! I hadn't really come to realize it until now. It feels like my hair was 1 cm long just yesterday.

When people brag about how much they had to drink last night

I just want to say: Cool story bro. Do you want to hear mine? It's a fairytale though. Once upon a time nobody gave a F. The end. 
 
And then I'd probably walk out like this

When an interviewer asks me if I have anything to add

I just want to say:
 

pop pop BANG!

I should be studying… really, I should! But I can’t stop writing. All of these things just pop up in my head and I need to escape them by writing them down. Otherwise, they’ll be hanging over me, haunting me until I write. 

 

 

By the way, I love this guy! 

Aw...kward....

I don’t really want to admit this, but when I stand alone in public I play with my phone or pretend that I’m texting someone so I don’t look like a loner. The weirdest part is that I haven’t even got any games on my phone (yet… I better get some just in case I’m standing alone in public sometime). Once, my phone was dead and I was waiting for my friend to show up outside the mall. Do you want to know what I did? No, I didn’t pretend I was talking on the phone… That’s just pathetic and lame. I picked up my calendar and started reading about what I was supposed to do that week, as if I was some super important person working for the national intelligence agency. The worst part is that I was caught by another friend, who finally said “Are you seriously standing there reading your calendar while waiting for someone?”. Do you know what I answered? “No?!” looking like JT below 

 

 

Toffee Twix

 

Yesterday I freestyled and baked this. It’s a toffee Twix cake made with true love. Eating it felt like being daggered with one of Cupid’s arrows. It was love at first bite! (As you can see the toffee's still boiling in this picture)

 

Yours Sinserely

Patty McFatty

Oh na na - what's my name?

So I found myself in this very unpleasant awkward situation the other day at a party. A guy came up to me and said “Hey, what’s my name?”. I just looked at him and wondered if he was for real or not. “I don’t know your name, because I’ve never met you before!”. And then he said “O-M-G, you don’t know my name?” like some 14 year old girl. I mean, why on earth would I know your name? We’ve never met before! Oh, wait what? You’re a celebrity?! I don’t care. I just introduced myself! Now, introduce yourself to me - that’s what people do!

 

And this is all Rihanna’s fault. So, thanks a lot Rihanna, you really made it this time!

 

G'night mates!

I wanted to blow you a cute little good night kiss... but it didn't quite work out the way I'd planned. Anywho, this will do (I didn't mean for that to rhyme, I guess I'm a natural) - you get the point!

Hi

Hello there fellows (and future me who is awesome and reading this. Hey future adopted kids who are super talented and geniuses like me!)
 
 

When somebody wont stop talking about themselves

Mr Cool

If you’re the kind of person who goes around and speaks about how cool you were in high school, you’re not really setting yourself up for being very cool in uni. We give little to zero F about how cool you were in high school. We were all cool in high school… that’s why we’re in college/uni. So you know, as much as I would love to hear about how cool you were in high school… I don’t! So… let’s all move on with our lives now, shall we? 

 

Not that smoking is very cool... but you get the point!

Super Bowl Commercials 2013

I don't know if you guys watched the Super Bowl the other day, but their commercials... It's kind of their thing and I love the fact that they put this much effort to make these commercials for the Super Bowl.

 

Here are some of my favourites, haha!

 

 

That's my hat!

Do girls think it’s cute to steal guys’ hats at parties? I’ve got a lot of complains about girls stealing my guy friends hats at parties. They don’t like it! It’s like a $30 hat, and suddenly it’s just gone? Like that? Do girls think that guys are wearing another hat under the hat that they stole? No! And it’s the same song every single time I’m at a club or a party, wearing one of my hats, caps or even one of my Native American plumages (special accessories for special times) – People simply (especially girls) think it’s just okay to come up to me, take my hat off my head and put the hat on their hat. Excuse you, but does it say your name on that hat? If not, do you mind telling me why you just took my hat?

 

How would you like it if guys (and in this particular case, I) went around stealing your earrings? “Oh, you want my hat – sure, give me your earrings!” Did I hear “Challenge accepted”?

 

I don't really get the message of this picture... I feel like it's saying that "Eastside F:s virgins". Anyway, it wasn't meant to say that. I mean look at us, we're harmless, not thugs at all... Even though we wish we were. Who doesn't want to be all dangerous and cool?

Lawless

Pledge week is officially over for us Law freshmen student, and that called for a Carlsberg… I mean, a celebration (with some Carlsberg). The Law Society had arranged a beautiful gasque (called Lawless) and all of the students had suited up for the legen… wait for it… DARY evening! I went there knowing almost no one and I left the party knowing a lot more people, witch always is fun! 

 

I spilled my snaps all over the table... Ssshhh, don't tell anyone! "Nobody saw that right? Riht?" "Noooo, no one saw that!"
 
But then again, everyone spilled out their drinks because of all the drumming on the table, haha!
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