Some girl was singing Boyfriend with Justin Bibaaaa (Bieber… I know! I just wanted you to get the UK feeling since I live here), and my first thought was ”Stalker, hustler, pimp alert!”

This girl wouldn’t stop singing the song and it really, REALLY, started to annoy me. Goodness, woman! He’s saying he wouldn’t let you go, as in NEVER EVER! Don’t you realize how stalker like that sounds? Sure, it all sounds nice just because it's Justin Friggin' Bibaa, but if it would have just been some random guy on the street your approach would have been pretty different. Personally, I would have gone all Travis Bickle (De Niro) on the guy and said “You talking to me?!” before going Tony Montana and introduced him to my little friend “SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!” Just sayin’! (And that’s why I’m single… hahaha)  

Moving on: Let’s say this is a random guy and not Bibaa.

 “If I was your boyfriend I’d never let you go, keep you on my arm girl, you’d never be alone”? Your reaction is simple: Mmm… Mate, that smells like a restraining order… as in you have to keep your distance at least 5 cities away from your “target”.  

“I’ve got money in my hand that I’d really like to blow on you”? Say what? First he sounds like a stalker and now as if he’s talking to some prostitute. Wow, now you really got her hooked! I mean, any girl would just die to be treated as some cheap escort!

“I can take you places you ain’t never been before”? Yeah… It sounds mysterious and all that, but… I think I’ll pass. (You don’t want to end up in some dungeon)

“Spend a week with your boy, I’ll be calling you my girlfriend”? Okay, that just sounds like somebody has watched Pretty Woman one too many times.

“Na na na na na na na na”? So you’re Batman now too? Seriously mate…

“Swaggie” And now he’s Steve Urkle.

Okay, I’m sorry for this everyone! I’m sure the song is great. I just happened to ruin it for myself by putting it into a whole other perspective.